Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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