You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
