She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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