I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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