he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
