State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
