chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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