i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
