forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
