it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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