somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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