Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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