I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
