I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
