Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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