My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Randomize
