genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
