Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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