Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
