I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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