I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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