We're facebook friends in real life
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
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