omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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