How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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