I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Randomize
