So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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