p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Randomize