So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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