i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
