oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My penis needs a shock collar
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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