Me. At least after what I've been through.
I look better un-naked...
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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