i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
