did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
