So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
