Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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