I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
