This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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