Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize