K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
