I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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