It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
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i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
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NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize