How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
