areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
