Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
