Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(650): View more from California

my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp

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(503): View more from Oregon

i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour

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(845): View more from New York

he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(415): View more from California

the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication

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(205): View more from Alabama

Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong

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(703): View more from Virginia

I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!

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(501): View more from Arkansas

I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.

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