i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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