I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
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She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
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Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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