I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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