you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
