It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
