The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
