My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Randomize
