I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
