Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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