that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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