Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
its not stalking. its research.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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