Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
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