Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Randomize
