I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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