I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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