I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize