in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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