Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Randomize
