IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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