Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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