Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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