I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
