This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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