I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
