a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
