i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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