I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
