So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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