I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Randomize
