I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
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