I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
