That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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